>Actual bumper stickers found on actual cars: > * Horn broken. Watch for finger. > * Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot. > * All generalizations are false. > * Cover me. I'm changing lanes. > * I brake for no apparent reason. > * Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control. > * I'm not as think as you drunk I am. > * Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal. > * We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart? > * He who laughs last thinks slowest. > * Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. > * It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you. > * Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy. > * Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. > * Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. > * I love cats...they taste just like chicken. > * Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. > * Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons. > * Born free...Taxed to death. > * The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. > * Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. > * Rehab is for quitters. > * I get enough exercise just pushing my luck. > * Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep. > * All men are idiots, and I married their King. > * Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician. > * Work is for people who don't know how to fish. > * Montana-At least our cows are sane! > * I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a >vegetarian. > * Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. > * If you don't like the news, go out and make some. > * When you do a good deed, get a receipt-in case heaven is like the >IRS.. > * Sorry, I don't date outside my species. > * No radio - Already stolen. > * Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. > * Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges. > * I took an IQ test and the results were negative. > * Where there's a will, I want to be in it. > * OK, who stopped payment on my reality check? > * Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it. > * I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. > * Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW. > * Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist. > * IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. > * Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students. > * It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. > * According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist. > * Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill. > * Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have. > * A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. > * Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from? > * How can I miss you if you won't go away? > * Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. > * Give me ambiguity or give me something else. > * We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. > * Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot. > * Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. > * Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. > * Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes. > * Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be >happy. > * Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. > * i souport publik edekashun. > * Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. > * Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder... > * There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who >can't. > * Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word? > * Ever stop to think and forget to start again? > * Keep honking...I'm reloading. > * Caution: I drive like you do. > > |