Elle McPherson, Helena Christensen and Naomi Campbell were on their first
plane flight together. In the middle of the flight, the pilot warns them of
severe storms and the worst weather conditions, and the possibility that
the plane may crash.
They all rush to put their seat-belts on, and Elle is busy unbuttoning her
blouse and showing her cleavage. Helena and Naomi look at her surprised and
ask her what she is doing.
Elle said, "Well, if the plane crashes, and we go down, when the rescuers
come down, they will notice my lovely breasts and rescue me first."
Helena then gets out her compact and starts putting on her make up and
brushes her hair. Elle and Naomi ask her what she's doing, and say its a
waste of time, especially since they are going to crash.
Helena then said, "well, when the plane crashes and we go down, and the
rescuers arrive, they will notice that I am the most beautiful girl, and
they will rescue me first."
To Elle's and Helena's shock and horror, Naomi undoes her seat belt and
starts to pull her pants down, and then slips her panties off. The girls
ask Naomi what she is doing, and she said: "God you guys are dumb, everyone
knows that the first thing the rescuers look for after a plane crash is the
Black Box!"
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A Marine walks in the restroom and sees a Sailor standing at the urinal,
fussing with the thirteen buttons on his pants.
The Marine says, "It must be a pain in the ass to have to mess with all
those buttons every time you take a piss."
The sailor replies, "Yes it is! If I were a Marine, all I'd have to do is
take off my hat."
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When Little Johnny grew out of diapers, his dad had to teach him how to pee
like an adult.
"See here son, this is how you do it", says the old man.
"1) Unzip your pants."
"2) Pull out your equipment."
"3) Pull back your foreskin."
"4) Relax your muscle that's holding in the pee."
"5) Push back your foreskin."
"6) Put your equipment back."
"7) Zip back up."
Later that day Johnny's sister, Little Jane, runs up to daddy, very
exaperated.
"Daddy daddy! Johnny's hogging the bathroom."
"That's fine," responds Daddy, "he's learning how to pee like an adult."
"No he's not!" yells Jane, "he's just in there shouting '3,5,3,5,3,5....'
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