A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife bully you," he said. "Go home and show her you're the boss."
The husband decided to take the doctor's advice. He went home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and growled, "From now on you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong.
Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?"
"I certainly do," said his wife calmly, "the undertaker."
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What exactly is an egotist ?
Easy -- it's a person who thinks they're everything I am !
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The Truth Is Finally Out
Roy Rogers' horse Trigger died at age 33 on this date in 1965. Roy and
Trigger were inseparable, which made things very difficult for Roy's
wife, Dale Evans.
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FAMOUS DOG QUOTE ONE CAN RELATE TOO
"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
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An 'American' tourist couple, both sociologists, were walking the streets of
a small town in Saudi Arabia. It was nearing the middle of the day and they
didn't want to miss lunch at their ramshackle hotel--the only one in town
and which always served meals promptly. They came upon an old herder
perched on a stool beside his camel. "Excuse me, sir," the man asked, "but
could you tell me the time?"
The old man glanced at them, spat in the dirt, then turned and reached under
his camel....and hefted the animal's testicles. After a moment, he released
them. "It is 10 minutes before noon," he replied. The couple exchanged
confused looks, thanked the man and hurried back to their hotel, arriving
just in time for the meal.
Later that day, the wandering couple found themselves again on the same
street and spied the old herder perched beside his camel, apparently
unmoved. Curious as to how he could tell time by fondling his animal's balls
they approached him and asked again, "Sir, can you tell us the time?" They
watched closely as he again reached up and grabbed the camel's jewels,
seemingly judging their weight, then pronounced, "It is half-past four."
The couple excitedly exchanged looks. The woman blurted, "Oh, sir! That is
an amazing ability you have! Could you show us how you do it?!?
"Surely," the herder responded tiredly, and motioned them to squat beside
him. "Now, grasp his jewels gently and lift them up to his belly." The
woman did so while her companion watched. "What now?", she inquired.
"Now," said the old man, "look over there--can you now see the clock in the
far tower? When the big hand is on the......." |
