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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Diver who wrote (6088)7/7/1998 3:43:00 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.  Read Replies (1) of 62549
 
The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and
alcohol bottles, such as:

14. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to bid
on worthless llamas at charity auctions.

13. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think
you are whispering when you are not.

12. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in
dancing like an asshole.

11. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the
same boring story over and over again until your
friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay
shings like thish.

9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
that ex-lovers are really dying for you to
telephone them at 4 in the morning.

8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering
what the hell happened to your pants.

7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in
the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that
you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some
really, really big guy named Chuck.

4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
you are invisible.

3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
people are laughing WITH you.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the
time-space continuem, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally dissapear".

1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

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