This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks. One in each
hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a few
drinks and chats with the Bartender. The Bartender is experienced and has
learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so
he doesn't mention the ducks. They chat for about 30 minutes before the guy
with the ducks has to go to the restroom. The ducks are left on the bar. The
bartender is alone with the ducks. There is an awkward silence. The Bartender
decides to try to make some conversation. "What's your name?" he says to the
first duck. "Huey" said the first duck. "How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day". "Oh.
That's nice.", says the Bartender. Then he says to the second duck "Hi. And
what's your name?". "Dewey" came the answer.
"So how's your day been, Dewey?". "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in
and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance another day I would do the
same again". So the Bartender turns to the third duck and says "So, you must
be Louie". "No", growls the third duck, "My name is Puddles."
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On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, this man got a
small puppy as a present for his son. Not having time to get the paper
work to take the puppy on board, the man just hid the pup down the front
of his pants and snuck him on board the airplane..
About 30 minutes into the trip a stewardess, noticed the man shaking
And quivering. "Are you OK, sir?" asked the stewardess?
"Ahh... Yes, I'm fine," said the man.
Sometime later the stewardess noticed the man moaning, and shaking
again..
"Are you sure you're all right sir?"
"Yes," said the man, "but I have a confession to make. I didn't have
time to get the paperwork to bring a puppy on board, so I hid him down
the front of my pants."
"What's wrong?" asked the stew, "Is he not house broken?"
"No, that's not the problem.... The problem is he's not weaned yet!" |
