ROFLMAOSHIH
An engineer dies and goes to heaven. He is greeted there by St. Peter, who asks him his name. The engineer says, "John Smith." St. Peter looks at his list and sees no John Smith on the list of the day's admittees. So St. Peter says, "I'm afraid John that I can't let you in. You're destined to go to that other place; please take the Down escalator to the left. I'm really sorry."
John doesn't understand why he was refused admittance to heaven. But he does as he's told and heads down to hell. When he gets there, it's unbelievably hot (though not quite as hot as Dallas these days) barren and desolate. He is greeted by Satan himself, who is thrilled to have a new resident. "What did you do on Earth, John?" "I was an engineer," says John. "Never had an engineer here before. Do you know anything about air conditioning?" Satan asks. "Sure," John says.
So John designs, builds and installs an air conditioning system that works just great and the temperature in hell is very comfortable. Impressed, but of course wanting more, Satan asks John if he knows anything about designing irrigation systems. "Why that was my speciality," John replies. So John designs a state of the art irrigation system for hell and the barren desolate land begins to grow grass and crops and it's like an oasis. Only problem is, they can't harvest it because they have no machinery.
"John, you've done great things here, but I need more. Can you design and build a combine so we can harvest this bountiful crop?" "Consider it done," says John. John is actually very happy now. "Hell isn't such a bad place after all," he thinks.
So John builds the combine and the crops are harvested. Then one day God goes down to hell for his annual check of the competition. He is flabbergasted at what has happened. "What the heck is going on here?" God questions. Satan responds, "You sent an engineer down here and he designed an air conditioning system to cool things off, he designed an irrigation system to water our fields and allow us to grow crops, and he designed a combine so we could harvest," says Satan. God replies, "There aren't supposed to be any engineers down here. This is the exact reason why I keep all the engineers with me. Peter obviously made a mistake. Send John back to me at once." "Oh no," says Satan. "You'll have to live with Pete's mistake. John Smith is mine and that's that."
"Well then," says God. "I guess I'll see you in court."
"Good luck finding a lawyer," replies Satan. |
