Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Then her
husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her next
husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies.
At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, "At least they're finally
together."
A guy sitting in the front row says, "Excuse me, father, but you do mean her
and her FIRST husband, or her and her SECOND husband?"
The priest says, "I mean her legs."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still!
If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill
you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was
astonished.
He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the
voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run
over you and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the
corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's a girl's first time at the gynecologist. She's up in the stirrups, and she's very nervous. The gynecologist says, "You're scared, aren't you?"
She says, "Yes. It's my first time at the gynecologist."
He says, "Would you like me to numb you down there?"She says, "Please."
He goes (sticking nose in her lap), "Num, num, num, num . . . ." |
