Quayle, Gingrich, and Packwood are traveling in a car together in the midwest. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. When they come to and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the Land of Oz. They decide to go see the Wizard of Oz. Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain." Gingrich says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart." Packwood says, "Where's Dorothy?"
Hearing Problem
I thought my wife, Barbara, was losing her hearing.
So one day I decided to test it.
I quietly walked in the front door and stood 30 feet behind her.
"Barbara," I said, "can you hear me?"
"There was no response, so I moved 20 feet behind her.
"Barbara," I said, "can you hear me?" Still no response.
I advanced to ten feet and asked "Now can you hear me?"
"For the THIRD time, YES!"
Golden Sex
An elderly couple went into a doctor. They told the doctor "We're having some trouble with our sex life. Could you watch and offer some suggestions?"
The doctor replied, "I'm not a sex therapist. You should find someone else."
The couple said, "No, No, we trust you."
After watching them make love, the doctor said, "You don't seem to be having any troubles. I wish my sex life was as good. I can't give you any suggestions."
This was repeated the next week and also the third week. After they had finished on the third week, the doctor said, "You aren't having any trouble. Is this your idea of kinky sex?"
The man replied, "No, actually the problem is if we have sex at my house, my wife will catch us. If we have sex at her house, her husband will catch us. The motel charges us $75, and we can't afford that. You only charge $50 and medicare pays 80%.
: >) |
