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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: BKS who wrote ()12/14/1996 5:36:00 AM
From: harold neely   of 62543
 
This one needs an intro, so you won't be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident
(work accident, not car accident), so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company
contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response: "I am writing in
response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident
reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I
should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur
radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my
new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of
several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather
than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items
down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which was fortunately attached to the gin pole at the
top of the tower. "Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded
the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope,
holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will note in block
number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of
being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the
rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In
the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull
and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

"Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the
rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now
weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you
might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40
foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the
lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to
lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were
cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand
and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind.

I let go of the rope..."
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