Welcome to Hell....
This man dies and is greeted by the devil at the gates to hell.
Dead Man: What am I doing in hell? I lived a good life. I don't deserve to be here. I should be in heaven!
Devil: Now, now, relax. Give it a chance, you may find that you like hell.
Dead Man: Like it? How so? What do you do in hell?
Devil: Well first you've got your Mondays in hell. Do you like eating?
Dead Man: Sure do.
Devil: Well, you're gonna like Mondays - all the best food from around the world, all you can eat! And if you eat all the stuff that's bad for you - DON'T WORRY, YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD!
Dead Man: Sounds good.
Devil: And then you've got your Tuesdays. Do you drink?
Dead Man: Yeah, I like some good wine now and then.
Devil: Well, you're gonna like Tuesdays - the best of wine and spirits all day long. And if you drink too much - DON'T WORRY, YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD!
Dead Man: I can handle that!
Devil: And then you've got your Wednesdays. Do you like gambling?
Dead Man: Yeah, I play the horses now and then, and I like lotteries.
Devil: Well, you're gonna love Wednesdays - a giant casino, all the games you can imagine. And if you run up a big debt - WHO CARES, YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD!
Dead Man: Tell me more.
Devil: OK, then you've got your Thursdays. Do you do drugs?
Dead Man: Well, I had a few tokes back in college...
Devil: Well, you're gonna like Thursdays - any drug, you name it, unlimited quantity and nothing but the best in quality. And if you overdose - DON'T WORRY, YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD!
Dead Man: Sounds like fun, what else is there to do?
Devil: Well, then you've got your Fridays. Are you gay?
Dead Man: No.
Devil: Uh, oh. I don't think you're gonna like Fridays! |
