Forwarded message:
> >> Understanding Men and Women!
> >>
> >> 1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
> >> A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
> >>
> >> 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> >> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> >>
> >> 3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
> >> spend.
> >> A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
> >>
> >> 4. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to
> >> understand her at all.
> >>
> >> 5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a
> lot
> >> more willing to die.
> >>
> >> 6. Any married man should forget his mistakes -
> >> there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
> >>
> >> 7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
> >> Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
> >>
> >> 8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> >> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she
> does.
> >>
> >> 9. A woman has the last word in any argument.
> >> Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
> argument.
> >>
> >> 10. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
> before
> >> marriage and after marriage.
> >>
> >> FAMOUS DOG QUOTES
> >>
> >> "Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant." -- Unknown
> >>
> >> "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies." -- Gene
> >> Hill
> >>
> >> "In dog years, I'm dead." -- Unknown
> >>
> >> "Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the
> >> car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at
> >> nothing right in your ear." -- Dave Barry
> >>
> >> "Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a
> >> dog, it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx
> >>
> >> "To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of
> >> dogs." -- Aldous Huxley
> >>
> >> "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three
> >> times before lying down." -- Robert Benchley
> >>
> >> "Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think
> >> that's how dogs spend their lives." -- Sue Murphy
> >>
> >> "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the
> >> guts to bite people themselves." -- August Strindberg
> >>
> >> "No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless
> >> absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." --
> >> Fran Lebowitz
> >>
> >> "Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back
> >> from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork,
> >> half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
> >> -- Anne Tyler
> >>
> >> "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird
> >> religious cult." -- Rita Rudner
> >>
> >> "My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a
> >> can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." -- Joe Weinstein
> >>
> >> "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I
> >> have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." -- James
> >> Thurber
> >>
> >> "You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person
> >> with pets." -- Nora Ephron
> >>
> >> "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you
> >> are wonderful." -- Ann Landers
> >>
> >> "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
> >> and get used to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein
> >>
> >> "In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone
> >> should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore
> >> him." -- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
> >>
> >> "Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is
> >> one of the most fond memories!" -- Dr. Tom Cat
> >>
> >> "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your
> >> face." -- Ben Williams
> >>
> >> "When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." --
> >> Edward Abbey
> >>
> >> "Cat's motto No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it
> >> look like the dog did it." -- Unknown
> >>
> >> "Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of
> >> his tail." -- Unknown
> >>
> >> "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as
> >> the dog does." -- Christopher Morley
> >>
> >> "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves
> >> himself." -- Josh Billings
> >>
> >> "Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." -- Holbrook Jackson
> >>
> >> "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." --
> >> Andrew A. Rooney
> >>
> >> "He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are
> >> his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true,
> >> to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such
> >> devotion." -- Unknown
> >>
> >> "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not
> >> bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
> >> -- Mark Twain
> >>
> >> "Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great
> >> Dane." -- Smiley Blanton
> >>
> >> "I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed
> >> contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are
> >> nuts." -- John Steinbeck
> > |
