Elizabeth Taylor goes in to see her cosmetic surgeon. "I have met the man of my dreams, finally the one true love of my life!" she announces to the surgeon "but I need you to help me with a small problem. My love is only 18 years old, I because I am so totally crazy about him, I don't want to disappoint him in any way, so I want you to make my vagina look like an 18 year old's."
The surgeon tells Liz of the delicate dangers involved in an operation of that sort, but does eventually agree (as he always has with her) to perform the procedure.
"There is one more thing I need you to do for me," Liz says "you have to promise me that no one knows about this operation, it is crucial to me that this matter be kept private. I want no magazines or tabloids hear about it!"
"I swear Liz" the surgeon replies.
The big day arrives, Liz goes under the knife, the operation goes
perfectly and she is moved to a recovery room. Upon regaining
consciousness, Liz's eyes focus on three huge floral arrangements at the foot of her bed. As her surgeon enters the room to check on her, Liz breaks into tears. "How could you do this to me?!? You swore that not a soul would hear of this operation!"
"Now, now Liz, I didn't tell a soul. The first arrangement is from me.
I've been your friend, as much as your surgeon for the past 20 years, I just wanted to make you feel good. The second arrangement is from the anesthesiologist, he's gay, he's one of your biggest fans, and I thought it was okay, since he worked side by side with me on your operation." Liz's eyes gazed over to the third arrangement, pointing her finger "And who sent those?"
"Oh yeah" the surgeon replied "Those are from a guy in the burns unit, he wanted to thank you for his new ears". |
