Corporate Zodiac
Astrology tells us about you and your
future simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of
your birth. Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote
for, what you buy and what you watch on television. Well, the Corporate
Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your job title, people will have
you all figured out...
MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid.
You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college,
concentrating instead on drinking and socializing - which is pretty much
what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES: Laziest of all signs, often
referred to as "marketing without a degree", you are also self-centered
and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their
money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can
"concentrate on the big picture". You seek admiration for your golf
game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY/MIS: Unable to control
anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely
control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't
understand what you are saying, but who the heck can tell?! It is
written that the Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that
actually studied in school, it is said that ninety percent of all
Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself:
your office is typically full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets.
However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel"...
ACCOUNTING: The only other sign that
studied in school, you are mostly immune from office politics. You are
the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme
organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that
you are completely insane.
HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your
access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip
within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less
work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because
you have to get a haircut, have lunch, AND mail a letter!
SENIOR MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat,
yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job
for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to
measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for
yourself. Best suited to marry other "Senior Managers", as everyone in
your social circle is a "Senior Manager".
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Bright, cheery,
positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As a
child very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your
room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service".
Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with
your manager.
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