Try this shaggy dog, or is it a shaggy horse story.
The residents of a small mountain village were getting a little concerned about the new monastery that had been built on a mountain top just outside of town. The monks are a pleasant lot and make a fine brew of beer. However there is one shortcoming. The monks all belong to the order of St. Michaelmas, and are sworn to the cultivation of flowers, particularly daisies. The monks are in fact fanatical about the cultivation of flowers and plant them everywhere. People from the village complain bitterly but to no avail.
Now one of the more prominent residents of the village is Hugh, the blacksmith.. Hugh is prospering from his business with the monastery, as they haul their great barrels of beer down from the mountain top in wagons pulled by large horses. Hugh is getting rich fixing up the wagons and shoeing the horses.
Hugh has a sentimental streak and keeps an old horse he has owned since the horse was foal and Hugh was a young man. The old horse lives in a paddock behind the smithy and has hardly moved for the last two years. In fact it has become so shaggy that birds are starting to nest in its main and people are starting to tease Hugh about this. He goes and combs the horses main and weeds out the bird nests, but it is no good at all. The birds keep coming back and more people tease Hugh about his horse. As time goes on more birds flock to the horse main to nest and more people tease Hugh, who is so busy shoeing brewery horse, he has no time to fuss over the horse. Eventually Hugh is forced to consult a veterinarian.
The veterinarian suggests cutting the horse's main, but with winter coming on , Hugh doesn't want to leave the horse with no hair to keep it warm. So the veterinarian suggests that Hugh get some brewer's yeast and apply it to the horse's neck. He tells Hugh that it is the only thing that will work.
Hugh makes a trip up the mountain to the monastery and the monks refuse point blank to give him any brewer's yeast, saying it is against their beliefs. They also refuse to sell him any, even though he offers a very generous price. Somewhat angry, Hugh makes the return trip down the mountain, visits every business in the village looking for some brewer's yeast. To no avail. There is no brewer's yeast to be had in the village. For that matter there is no yeast of any sort.
On his way back to his forge, Hugh cannot but notice that flowers are growing everywhere. The window sills are covered in flowers. Clothes drying on washing lines have flowers planted in the pockets. Dogs have flowers growing in their water dishes. Young children cannot play in the sand box because it is full of flowers. Chimneys have flowers sticking out of them. When he gets back to his smithy, there are flowers planted in his work boots, flowers in his tool box, flowers inside his kettle, flowers on his roof. There are also more birds than ever hovering around his horse and the "Cheep! Cheep! Cheep!" of baby birds sounds from it's main. A crowd of children are laughing at the old horse and throwing stones at the birds.
Hugh is not happy. Then he sees the mayor of the village approaching, flowers growing out of his top pocket and on top of his top hat .
The mayor has come to ask Hugh for help. The monks are driving everyone in town crazy with this flower business. Just this morning his wife went to use the commode and found it had been planted full of flowers overnight. The mayor has come to ask Hugh to no longer fix the monks wagons and to no longer shoe the monk's horses, until they desist with the flowers. Hugh agrees.
The next day the monks bring in three horses needing shoeing and Hugh refuses. A day or two later, they have a fourth horse and two wagons that need work. Hugh refuses. Two weeks pass and less traffic passes through the village. Business is literally drying up for the monastery. Then the abbot arrives to visit Hugh, who calls the mayor to the meeting.
The abbot is demanding service from Hugh and the mayor informs him that there will be no monastery horses shoed or wagons fixed until all the flower planting stops. Hugh adds that he will not do any work for the monks until they sell him some brewer's yeast. After some discussion the abbot reluctantly agrees to restrict flower plating by the monks to roadside areas only. He agrees to provide a bucket of yeast to Hugh. He explains that they have no brewers yeast left, but do have lots of regular yeast used in the baking of bread.
The next day, no villagers have reported any annoying flower plantings and a wagon arrives at the blacksmith's foundry and unloads a bucket of bubbling yeast. Hugh takes the yeast and a paint brush and proceeds to saturate his old horses main. He is delighted when the birds hover and chirp but don't land to nest anymore. The old horde neighs in pleasure and a tear comes to Hugh's eyes as he remembers the days of his youth when he and his old horse where both young.
The mayor arrives and congratulated Hugh for helping solve the problem with the monks, and Hugh is making lots of money again shoeing the monastery horses.
The story just goes to show you that ...
Yeast is yeast and nest is nest but never the main shall tweet!
And
Hugh and only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
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