New Stephen Wright material:
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
Is atheism a nonprophet organization?
If you try to fail, and succeed - what have you done?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
Why is it that when we bounce a check, the bank charges us more of what they already know we don't have any of?
When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why do they call them Milkshakes if they are already shook? Shouldn't theycall them Milkshooks?
If you bought a CD entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane" and enjoyed it, can you take it back and demand a refund?
Is monopoly just a game that parrots play on their own ?
Do you think General Custer's last words were "OK drop the bows and arrows and no one gets hurt"?
Is it true that the word closure is a synonym for vengeance?
Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram"?
Is it a coincidence that the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable?
Why is it that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple?
What is the contraction for will not? Willn't?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up a project, I end it?
Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?
Why is a wise man and wise guy opposites?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
"I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I Do." is the longest sentence?
If the singular of GEESE is GOOSE, shouldn't a Portuguese person be called a Portugoose?
If you have friends who are clowns, when they die do you all go to their funeral in one car?
If a baron failed to maintain a water barrier around his castle would he be demoted?
Why is a procrastinator's work never done?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and drycleaners depressed?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it's much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?
Why do people always remember where they were when someone famous was killed? Do they feel perhaps they'll need an alibi?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
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