"What's the difference between the North American porcupine
and the African porcupine," the society matron asked the zookeeper.
"The principal difference is the North American species has a longer prick."
This, as you might assume, distressed the matron who stormed immediately to the zoo manager's office. The zoo manager said, "Ma'am, I apologize for my staff's unfortunate choice of terms.
What the keeper should have said is the North American species has a longer *quill*. In fact, their pricks are just about the same size."
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President Clinton and Jerry Falwell were on Air Force One. The
stewardess came and asked the President if he'd like something to
drink. He replied, " A gin and tonic, please."
Next she asked Mr. Falwell. He replied, "I'd rather be hog-tied and
horse-whipped by a brazen whore than to let liquor touch my lips."
President Clinton hands his drink back to the stewardess and says, "I
didn't know we had a choice."
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Did you hear about the new Catholic edition of Playboy?
It's got the same centerfold as the regular edition, but you have to
pull it out at just the right moment.
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At a cocktail party, a man gets totally plastered, goes up to the host and
says "Excuse me, but do lemons have feathers?", in a slurred voice.
"I beg your pardon?" says the host.
The drunk asks again: "Do lemons have feathers?", as he struggles to hold
his balance.
A rather bemused host says "No I don't think so".
The drunk looks sheepish then says: "Oopsie".
"What?", asks the host.
And the drunk: "I think I've just squeezed your canary into my drink". |
