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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: Henry Volquardsen who wrote (7134)9/30/1998 3:31:00 PM
From: Henry Volquardsen  Read Replies (2) of 62549
 
Subject: A Few Cheerful Thoughts. . . .

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

Nearly a third of all bottled drinking water purchased in the US is contaminated with bacteria.

Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over 1 million descendants.

You are more likely to be struck by lightning that to be eaten by a shark.

You are more likely to be infected by flesh-eating bacteria than you are to be struck by lightning.

If you urinate when swimming in a South American river, you may encounter the candiru. Drawn to warmth, this tiny fish is known to follow a stream of urine to its source, swim inside the body, and flare its barbed fins. It will remain firmly embedded in the flesh until surgically removed.

When a pilot light in a gas barbecue fails to ignite the gas jets properly, it is easy for you to inhale gas accidentally while trying to light it by hand. If this has happened, when the match does light, sometimes a trail of flame will blaze from the jet onto your mouth, filling your lungs with fire. Oddly enough, you would suffocate before burning to death as the flame would consume the oxygen in every breath you would take.

The soft plastic headphones used on airplanes create a warm, moist environment in the ear canal that is ideal for breeding bacteria. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

On a plane, if the passenger in your seat on the incoming flight had serious gas, then you are sitting on a cushion full of disease-causing microbes.

Homely criminals get 50% longer jail sentences on average than good-looking criminals.

Four sunken nuclear submarines sit at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. One, a Russian sub resting in deep water off of Bermuda, holds 16 live nuclear warheads. Scientists and oceanographers are unsure what the impact of the escaping plutonium will have, but warn that corrosion could create the proper chemical environment for a massive nuclear chain reaction.

In 1994, electromagnetic interference (EMI) from a nearby cellular telephone activated a power wheelchair at a scenic vista in Colorado, sending the passenger over a cliff.

If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for US citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles.

More people working in advertising died on the job in 1996 than died while working in petroleum refining. :)
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