"A Friendly Affair"
A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens
to be her husband's best friend. They make love for
hours, and afterwards, while they're just lying there,
the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she
picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and
listens, only hearing her side of the conversation...
(She is speaking in a cheery voice)
"Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really?
That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That
sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."
She hangs up the telephone, and her jealous lover asks,
"Who was that?"
"Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all
about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip
with you."
**************************************************************
There were two guys, and one day they found a house
of ill respute.
The first guy goes in. He comes out a few minutes later
and says with a sneer, "My wife is better!"
Then the second guy goes in, comes out and says,
"You know what? Your wife IS better."
******************************************************
The Power of Suggestion
A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the
collection plates each Sunday. Someone suggested to him that
perhaps he might be able to hypnotize the congregation into giving more. "And just how would I go about doing that?" he asked.
"It is very simple. First you turn up the air conditioner so that the
auditorium is warmer than usual. Then you preach in a monotone.
Meanwhile, you dangle a watch on a chain and swing it in a slow arc
above the lectern and suggest they put 20 dollars in the collection plate." So the very next Sunday, the reverend did as suggested,
and lo and behold the plates were full of 20 dollar bills. Now, the preacher did not want to take advantage of this technique each and every Sunday.
So therefore, he waited for a couple of weeks and then tried his mass
hypnosis again. Just as the last of the congregation was becoming
mesmerized, the chain on the watch broke and the watch hit the lectern
with a loud thud and springs and parts flew everywhere.
"Crap!" exclaimed the pastor.
It took them a week to clean up the church. |
