Having a bad day?
>
>
> For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you
> just need to take it out on someone!!! Don't take that bad day out
> on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know!!!
> Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a
> phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A
> man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"
>
> I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please
> speak to Robin Carter?"
>
> Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone
could
> be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She
had
> transposed the last two digits incorrectly.
>
>
> After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still
> lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again.
>
>
> When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a
> jackass!" and hung up.
>
> Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass," and put it in my
desk
> drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really
bad
> day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It
would
> always cheer me up.
>
> Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was
> a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the
> jackass.
>
> Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard
> his voice, "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office
> of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're
> familiar with our caller ID program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the
> phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because
> you're a jackass!"
>
> The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show
> you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can
> do something about it. Just dial 823-4863.
>
> [Keep reading, it gets better.]
>
> The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of
> the parking pace. I didn't think she was ever going to
> leave.Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly
> back out of the slot.
>
> I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull
> out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black
Camaro
> come flying up the parking isle in the wrong direction and pulls into her
space.
> I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I
was
> here first!"
>
> The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He
> walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me.
>
> I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure a lot of
> jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the
> back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for
> another place to park.
>
> A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had
> just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling,
> "You're jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now
> since I have his number on speed dial.)
>
> I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro
> lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.
> After a couple rings someone answered the phone and
> said,"Hello." I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for
> sale?"
>
> "Yes, it is."
>
> "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
>
> "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house
> and the car's parked right out front."
>
> I said, "What's your name?"
>
> "My name is Don Hansen."
>
> "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
>
> "I'm home in the evenings."
>
> "Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
>
> "Yes,"
>
> "Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.
>
> After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed
> dialer. For awhile things seemed to be going better for me. Now
> when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then, after several
> months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't
> as enjoyable as it used to be.
>
> I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:
>
> First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. A man answered nicely
> saying,"Hello."
>
> I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up.
>
> The jackass said, "Are you still there?"
>
> I said, "Yeah."
>
> He said, "Stop calling me."
>
> I said, "No."
>
> He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
>
> I said, "Don Hansen."
>
> He said "Where do you live?"
>
> "1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's
> parked out front."
>
> "I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your
> prayers."
>
> "Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.
>
> Then I called Jackass #2.
>
> He answered, "Hello."
>
> I said, "Hello, Jackass!"
>
> He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
>
> "You'll what?"
>
> "I'll kick your butt."
>
> "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now Jackass!"
>
> And I hung up.
>
> Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them
> I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay
> lover as soon as he got home.
>
> Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down
> W. 34th Street.
>
> After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to
> watch the whole thing.
>
> Glorious!
>
> Watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in
> front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter was one of the greatest
> experiences of my life!
>
> Name withheld to protect the guilty.
>
>
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