A man in a bar stands up and proclaims, "All Lawyers are ASSHOLES!"
A man at the front of the bar stands up and says "Hey! I resent that!"
So the first man asks, "Why are you a lawyer?"
"NO! I'm an asshole!"
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Did you hear about the lawyer from Texas who was so big when he died that they couldn't find a coffin big enough to hold the body?
They gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox.
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A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did
for a living.
Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a Doctor!"
Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a Professor!"
Little Johnny stood up and said,"My dad is a piano player in a whorehouse!"
The teacher couldn't believe what she had just heard, so she
made a point of calling Little Johnny's father that evening.
When she told him what Little Johnny had said, he told her,
"Actually,.... I'm an attorney,but how I'm I supposed to explain
that to a seven year old???"
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What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? * He gets taller.
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A Truck Driver was driving down the highway when he saw a
priest at the side of the Road. He stopped to pick up the
priest and give him a ride. A ways down the road the Truck
Driver saw a lawyer on the side of the road. He turned the
truck on a direct course with the lawyer. Then he thought
"Oh no, I have a priest in the truck I can't run down this
lawyer" and at the last second the Truck Driver swerved to
miss the lawyer. But, the Truck Driver heard a thump
outside of the truck, he looked in his rear-view mirror but
didn't see anything. He turned to the priest and said
"Sorry Father, I just missed that Lawyer at the side of the
road" And the priest said "Don't worry son, I got him with
my door"
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If law school is so hard to get through, how come there are so many lawyers? |
