here's my "joke"
finally a post that hasn't been repeated..
possibly not funny enough to make it two times around?
A scientist was successful in cloning himself.
He was asked to speak at a national convention of cloning scientists. The
meeting room was located on the 45th floor of a New York skyscraper.
The scientist arrived with his clone and proceeded to the podium. The clone
sat at the end of the head table. The scientist began the speech intending
a tribute to the advances in the field of modern biology.
"My fellow scientists," he began. But before he could utter another word,
the clone sprang to his feet and shouted out, "he's an ASSHOLE!". The crowd
began to murmur as the scientist commanded the clone to "sit down and
shut-up!". Apologizing for the interruption, the scientist began again, "My
fellow scientists,". Again the clone sprang to his feet and yelled, "this
dumb ASS couldn't produce a copy on a Xerox. He's a fraudulent
SON-OF-A-BITCH!".
Incensed, the scientist rushed to the clone, grabbed him, and threw him out
of the window.
The crowd gasped and security rushed into the room. A short while later New
York's finest arrived and were explained the events that had transpired.
The police chief said to the scientist, "We are going to have to arrest
you." The scientist replied, "For what? I have committed no crime. What
fell from the window was a clone, not a person.". The attending scientists
nodded in agreement. "Well," retorted the police chief, "we can not let
this heinous act go unchallenged.".
The police chief thought for a moment and ordered the scientist held for
"Making an obscene clone fall..."
this one could be worse?
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there were two evil friars
living outside this small village. The friars had tried unsuccessfully
to overtake and capture the town, but finally this time, they believed
they had hit upon a foolproof scheme that would allow them to rule the
village. They had, through mad scientist experiments in their floral shop,
come up with a plant that would devour the townspeople one by one until
none were left. They set forth to put their plan into action by planting
the man-eating plants so they encircled the village.
As the plants rapidly grew, they began devouring everything living in their
path. The townspeople grew frightened; who or what would save them from
their eminent doom? Finally, the town's elder remember Hugh, a woodcutter
who lived on the outskirts of town. Frantically, the townspeople penned a
desperate plea for help, tied it to the leg of a pigeon, and directed the
bird toward Hugh's cabin.
Meanwhile, outside of town, Hugh had received the note from the townspeople,
and realizing they were in grave danger, set forth to do what he needed to
do. He honed his mightiest axe to razor-sharpness, grabbed his hat, and off
he went.
Chopping his way through the dense vines, he single-handedly destroyed the
carnivorous plants one by one, until all were destroyed. Then he set out to
rid the village of the evil friars, chasing them out of town. The town was
saved!!! The people rejoiced and knighted Hugh for his brave and timely
efforts to save the village!!!
And the moral of the story is:
Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars. |
