A young divorced man was taking some vacation time and wandered into an oddity shop in Chinatown in San Fransisco. Among the hundreds of strange taxidermy items, he noticed a fairly large rat. At $100 it seemed a little expensive, but it was unique and he thought it an appropriate gag gift to send to his ex-wife's attorney. Upon pointing out his choice to the shopkeeper, he was advised that he should make another choice.
"This is not for the inexperienced young fellow," the wizened old oriental man said to him. "You should look for something less powerful to begin with. These talismans are very expensive and dangerous . . . "
Not wishing to engage the little man in a debate of superstitious nonsense, he said "OK, OK, I get it - this is how you get the price up, eh? OK, $200. I'll take it.
Still being cautionary but not wanting to give up the extra profit, the old man took the money and put the mounted rat in a sack, handing to the young man with a warning: "Don't blame me if you don't like the results."
Laughing, the young man exited the store and began walking toward downtown San Fransisco. Soon, he began to hear scurrying noises from behind, but he couldn't see anything close by. Only moments later, he could make out the forms of rats on the sidewalk behind him, and he picked up his pace. It wasn't long before he realized there were rats coming out of alleyways and from beneath dumpsters, gathering and following him en masse. With mounting panic, he began to run, with a moving mass of now hundreds of rats not far behind him. Being alert and quick-witted, he came to the realization that the rats were somehow under the influence of the talisman he was carrying. Running at full speed with now tens-of-thousands of rats behind him, he charged through the downtown streets and then headed to the docks. By the time he neared the end of a long pier, there were millions of rats running toward him, and as he reached the very end, he pulled the stuffed rat from the sack and hurled it into the bay. The masses of rats rushed by, jumping into the water, drowning.
In amazement, and realizing what he had just accomplished, he hurried back to the little man's oddity shop, and stepped in, still breathing hard from the effort.
Recognizing the young man, despite the rumpled clothes and exhausted look, the little man said, "Ah, you see what has happened to you! I warned you . . ."
"Oh no, no, it was no problem, really, I just wanted to know if you had another. . .?"
"Another rat, no, I'm sorry . . ."
"No, not a rat, what I'm looking for now is a stuffed attorney." |
