Once there was a beautiful woman who loved to work in her vegetable
garden, but no matter what she did, she couldn't get her tomatoes to
ripen. Admiring her neighbor's garden, which had beautiful bright red
tomatoes, she went one day and inquired of him his secret. "It's really quite simple," the old man explained. "Twice each day, in the morning and in the evening, I expose myself in front of the tomatoes and they turn red with embarrassment."
Desperate for the perfect garden, she tried his advice and proceeded to expose herself to her plants twice daily. Two weeks passed and her
neighbor stopped by to check her progress. "So", he asked, "Any luck
with your tomatoes?"
"No", she replied excitedly... "But you should see the size of my
cucumbers!
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VIRGIN NEWLYWEDS::::
A young virgin couple are finally wed. Each one is nervous about the
impending night, but neither are willing to admit or ask each other about it. Wondering what to do first, the young man calls his father.
"Pop, what do I do first?"
"Get naked and climb into bed," his father replies. So, the young man does as he is advised. The girl is mortified and calls her mama.
"Get naked and join him," is the advice from mama, so she complies. After laying there for a few moments, the young man excuses himself and calls his dad again.
"What do I do?" he asks.
His father replies, "Look at her naked body. Then, take the hardest part of your body and put it where she pees!" is the dad's advice.
A few moments later, the girl again calls her mama. "What do I do now?" she asks.
"Well, what is he doing?" mama asks.
"He's in the bathroom, dunking his head in the toilet!" |
