Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to
>bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a
>discussion among them.
>
>First Bull: "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once we
>settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would
>be mine. Now, I don't know where this newcomer is going to get
>HIS cows, but I ain't giving' him any of mine."
>
>Second Bull: "That pretty much says it for me, too. I've been here 3
>years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we've agreed are
>mine. I'll fight him, run him off or kill him, but I'm KEEPING' ALL
>MY COWS."
>
>Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far you guys have
>only let me have 10 cows to "take care of." I may not be as big as
>you fellows (yet) but I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep
>all MY cows."
>
>They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls
>up in the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the
>biggest Son-of-Another- Bull these guys had ever seen. At 4,700
>pounds, each step he took toward the ground strained the steel
>ramp to the breaking point.
>
>First Bull: "Ahem...You know, it's actually been some time since I
>really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think I can
>spare a few for our new friend."
>
>Second Bull: "I'll have plenty of cows to take care of, if I just stay
>on the opposite end of the pasture from HIM. I'm certainly not
>looking for an argument."
>
>They look over at their young friend, the 3rd bull, and find him
>pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting.
>
>First Bull: "Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him
>have some of your cows and live to tell about it."
>
>Third Bull: "Hell, he can have ALL my cows. I'm just making sure
>he knows I'm a bull."
>
>~~~~~~~~~
>
>A man is on a business trip in Houston and buys a really cool pair of
>snakeskin boots and can't wait to show them to his wife. Upon returning from
>his trip late the next evening, his wife is in the bathroom getting ready for
>bed. He quickly strips down naked except for his new boots and stands in the
>bedroom to wait for her. As his wife emerges from the bathroom, her husband
>asks, "Well, honey, do you notice anything special?" To which the wife
>replies, "Yeah, it's limp!"
>
>"It's not limp!" exclaims the husband. "It's admiring my new snakeskin
boots!"
>
>"Next time buy a hat."
>
>~~~~~~~~~
>
>Q What do you call a sheep that does housework?
>A. A threat to women everywhere.
>
>~~~~~~~~~
>
>At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney
>attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five
>thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window,
>as though he hadn't hear the question.
>
>"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise his
>case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond.
>
>Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."
>
>"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."
>
>~~~~~~~~~
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