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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: WAYNE BALL (guessed password) who wrote (693)1/28/1997 8:34:00 PM
From: Rick Slemmer   of 62578
 
Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriend Plus 1.0
(marketing name: Fiance' 1.0 [beta]). The onsite beta test ran fine, so
he later he upgraded from Fiance' 1.0 to Wife 1.0 at great expense.

Upgrade to Wife 1.0 resulted in the deletion of most Fiance' 1.0 type
attibutes. Installation deleted Dog 1.0 and reinitialized Life 1.1 and the home.ini
configuration file. He determined that Wife 1.0 is a user memory hogger, and
found that it has consumed all his available space and system resources.
Also note: Although he didn't request them, Wife 1.0 automatically
pre-installed certain Plug-In features, including Real Audio for Wife 1.0,
Mother-In-Law Shockwave and Brother-In-Law Browser.

It seems that Wife 1.0 must always run in Protected Mode and then
takes charge of the Task Assignment list. This limits his ability to
accomplish anything. Wife 1.0 also seems to conflict and interfere with
other previously running tasks such as: NetSurf 3.0, Hockey 2.1, Bowling 3.01,
NFLSunday 4.0, BoysNightOut 1.2, and BushHunt 6.0, and Fishing 6.1.
Windows also must be deinstalled, wiped, and reinstalled annually.

****** FATAL BUG WARNING ********

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1
before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete all MSMoney files
before doing the uninstall itself. Mistress 1.1 will then refuse to
install, claiming insufficient resources. Wife 1.0 will then spawn
off the Virus Lawyer 6.66 which, when activated, consumes all
available resources and brings your system crashing to its knees.
** WARNING **: Even if you try to hide Mistress 1.1 in high memory, Wife
1.0 will eventually detect it and execute the above described process.

Other MS-Companion Series problems:

Running Girlfriend 2.0 with Girlfriend 1.0 still installed results in I/O
port and hard drive allocation conflicts.. Attempts to subsequently uninstall
tend to be difficult, as Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't have an uninstall utility.
Attempts to uninstall it manually usually results in dumping of unwanted
and undetectable hidden files into the Public Area of your system
directory.

All versions of Girlfriend 1+ for Hebrew are now COMPLETELY Object
Orientated and only support hardware with GOLD PLATED contacts
and DIAMOND-series displays.

Future Versions of MS-Companion

New Features requested in the upcoming GirlFriend 4.0:
1. - A "Don't remind me again" button
2. - A Minimize button
3. - A Shutdown/Kill Task feature
4. - An install/uninstall shield feature so that Girlfriend 4.0 can be
cleanly uninstalled if so desired (so you don't lose cache and
other installed objects)
5. - An automated virus scan/bug fix which runs prior
to installation, setup, or any application execution.
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