Technically, these aren't jokes, but some of them are kinda funny. I cannot vouch for the accuracy of any of this though...
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If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet.
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
Did you know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider?
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
Polar bears are left handed.
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds.
The flea can jump 350 times its body length, that is like a human jumping the length of a football field.
A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death.
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off.
Some lions have sex over 50 times a day. [But since only humans and dolphins have sex for fun, they only do it when they *have* to...]
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
A cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
Starfishes haven't got brains.
The first couple to be shown in bed together on primetime television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
Smartest dogs: 1) Scottish border collie, 2) Poodle, 3) Golden retriever. Dumbest: Afghan hound.
City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita:
Hong Kong
State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska
Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
Average number of days a West German goes without washing his underwear: 7
Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour:
61,000
Percentage of Americans who have visited Disneyland/Disney World:
70%
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches
Only President to win a Pulitzer: John F. Kennedy for Profiles in Courage
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every
five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips
in times of war or other emergencies.
The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, "G.P."
The Pentagon has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites. Good... Now some reasonable accomodation can be given to women...
The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for
each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point
in Colorado.
Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you
have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without
being able to make change for a dollar.
No NFL team which plays its home games in a domed stadium has
ever won a Superbowl.
The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To
Beaver."
The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Stars Game.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
How about this.... The nursery rhyme Ring Around the Rosey is a rhyme about the plague. Infected people with the plague would get red
circular sores ("Ring around the rosey..."), these sores would smell very badly and common folks would put flowers on their bodies somewhere (inconspicuously), so that it would cover the smell of the sores ("...a pocket full of posies..."), People who died from the plague would be burned so as to reduce the possible spread of the disease ("...ashes, ashes, we all fall down!")
"If you give a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day.
If you set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
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Chip
coolhistory.com
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