Subject: Government Fairness...
Subject: Ant & The Grasshopper ....
CLASSIC VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances
and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper
has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances
and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and
starving. CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures
of the shivering grasshopper next to video of the ant in
his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be
that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper
is allowed to suffer so?
Then a representative of the NAAGB (National Association
of Green Bugs) shows up on Nightline and charges the ant
with "green bias", and makes the case that the grasshopper
is the victim of 30 million years of greenism.
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and
everybody cries when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green."
Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on
the CBS Evening News to tell a concerned Dan Rather that
they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who
has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who
benefited unfairly during the Reagan summers, or as Bill
refers to it, the "Temperatures of the 80's."
Richard Gephardt exclaims in an interview with Peter
Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the
grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the
ant to make him pay his "fair share."
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and
Anti-Greenism Act" retroactive to the beginning of the
summer. The ant fined for failing to hire a proportionate
number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his
retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper
in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried
before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a
list of single-parent welfare moms who can only hear cases
on Thursday's between 1:30 and 3pm when there are no talk
shows scheduled. The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the
last bits of the ant's food while the government house he's
in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles
around him since he doesn't know how to maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV, which
the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food,
they are showing Bill Clinton standing before a wildly
applauding group of Democrats announcing that a new era of
"fairness" has dawned in America.
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