Guide Book For Women
(just to let you know where I am coming from!!)
1. Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman
because the house was spotless.
2. Remember that you are known by the idiot you accompany.
3 . Don't imagine you can change a man-unless he's in
diapers.
4. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You lock the
door behind him.
5. So many men-so many reasons not to sleep with any of
them.
6. If they can put a man on the moon, they should be able to
put them all there.
7. Tell him you're not his type-you have a pulse.
8. Never let your man's mind wander. It's too little to be
let out alone.
9. The only reason men are on this planet is that vibrators
can't dance or buy drinks.
10. Never sleep with a man who has named his penis.
11. You might as well go for younger men. They never mature,
anyway.
12. A man who can dress himself without looking like Forrest
Gump is unquestionably gay.
13. Men are all the same. They just have different faces so
you can tell them apart.
14. Definition of a bachelor: a man who missed the
opportunity to make some woman miserable.
15. Women don't make fools of men. Most of them are the >>>
do-it-yourself type.
16. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest
that they're too old for it.
17. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
18. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
19. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40
years, proving that even in biblical times men wouldn't
ask for directions.
20. If he asks what sort of books you like, tell him
checkbooks.
21. A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh,
alright,I'll stay the night."
22. Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they
wouldn't even bother to have lunch with.
23. Remember, a sense of humor does not mean that you tell
him jokes, it means you laugh at his.
24. If he asks you if you're faking it, tell him no, you're
just practicing.
25. Sadly, all men are created equal.
26. When he asks you if he's your first, tell him, "You may
be. You look familiar."
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