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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (8737)2/17/1999 3:14:00 PM
From: Tomato  Read Replies (1) of 62549
 
> Worst Analogies Ever Written
>
> 1. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
> guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
> those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
> speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse
> without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
>
> 2. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
> bowling ball wouldn't.
>
> 3. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled
> with vegetable soup.
>
> 4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
> surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
> JEOPARDY comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
>
> 5. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
>
> 6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
>
> 7. He was as tall as a 6-foot, 3-inch tree.
>
> 8. Her date was pleasant enough but she knew that if her life was a
> movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second
> Tall Man."
>
> 9. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the
> "Dr." on a "Dr Pepper" can.
>
> 10. John and mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
> also never met.
>
> 11. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
> underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
>
> 12. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
> the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
> left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
> at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
>
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