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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: John Messbauer who wrote (9082)3/28/1999 8:04:00 PM
From: Chip Anderson  Read Replies (1) of 62549
 
YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN OUT OF COLLEGE TOO LONG WHEN....

* Your potted plants stay alive...
* Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
* You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
* 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
* You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
* You carry an umbrella.
* You watch the Weather Channel.
* Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.
* You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
* Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up'
* You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
* Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
* You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
* Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
* You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds.
* Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
* You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
* Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
* You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
* A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.
* You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
* Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese diet pepsi & Ho-ho's
* 'I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never going to drink that much again'.

==========================================
Me: <<BIG SIGH>>

Chip
coolhistory.com
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