Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke Message Board

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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: Jay who wrote (9524)	5/6/1999 10:30:00 PM
From: Ian@SI	Read Replies (1) of 62549

> >HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT > > > >She is not a BABE or a CHICK - > >She is a BREASTED-AMERICAN. > > > >She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - > >She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT. > > > >She is not a BAD COOK - > >She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE. > > > >She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - > >She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED. > > > >She is not CONCEITED - > >She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES. > > > >She does not want to be MARRIED - > >She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION. > > > >She does not GAIN WEIGHT - > >She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER. > > > >She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - > >She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE. > > > >She is not EASY - > >She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. > > > >She does not TEASE or FLIRT - > >She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION. > > > > > >She is not DUMB - > >She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. > > > >She is not TOO SKINNY - > >She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT. > > > >She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - > >She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE. > > > >She has not BEEN AROUND - > >She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION. > > > >She does not GET YOU EXCITED - > >She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT. > > > >She is not KINKY - > >She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION. > > > >She does not have a KILLER BODY - > >She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE. > > > >She does not GO SHOPPING - > >She is MALL FLUENT. > > > >She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - > >She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED. > > > >She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - > >She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY. > > > >She is not COLD or FRIGID - > >She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE. > > > >She is not HORNY - > >She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED. > > > >She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - > >She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION. > > > >She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - > >She is GRAVITY RESISTANT. > > > >She does not NAG YOU - > >She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE > > > >She is not a SLUT - > >She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED. > > > >She is not LOOSE - > >She is MORALLY IMPAIRED. > > > >She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - > >She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR > >

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