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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (10232)	6/10/1999 2:24:00 PM
From: paul t	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

AGE & WEIGHT An 8-year-old girl and her mother are walking along the street together one day. "Mommy," says the little girl, "how old are you?" "Darling, you should never ask a woman what her age is." "Why not?" demands the child. "Well, that's something you will understand one day when you're grownup." "Mommy," asks the girl again, "how much do you weigh?" "Never mind," answers her mother. "Why can't you tell me?" "Because grown-ups never talk about how much they weigh. This is something you will learn someday." "Mommy," insists the child, "can you tell me why you and Daddy got divorced?" "Darling," responds the mother in exasperation, "that's something still very painful for Mommy, and I really just can't talk about it now." A few days later, the child recounts this conversation to a friend at school. The friend explains how to overcome these problems: "All you have to do is get your mother's driver's license. It has all the information about any grown-up you want on it. You just read it like a report card and it'll give you anything you need." So the little girl does as her friend recommended. Next day, she walks up to her mother and says, "I know how old you are! You're 35!" The mother is very surprised. "And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 136 pounds, right?" Her mother is now shocked. "AND I know why you and Daddy got divorced. You got an F in sex!"

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (10232)	6/10/1999 11:05:00 PM
From: Giordano Bruno	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Bombs away... Thursday, June 10, 1999 Fecal Explosion Threatens City EGUCIGALPA, Honduras--The Honduran capital faces possible violent explosions of fecal matter due to massive obstructions in its sewage system, officials said Wednesday. "We are racing against time to unblock the pipes before winter comes and the pipes and manholes overflow or explode," said Humberto Puerto, manager of the National Aqueduct and Sewerage Network Service. "There are tanks that are full of fecal matter and that could explode because of the gases being produced and the pressure of new fluids," he told reporters. The sewerage network in Honduran capital Tegucigalpa, a city of more than 1 million people, has sustained severe cracks and mounting blockages caused by Hurricane Mitch, which devastated the impoverished Central American country in October 1998. Fecal matter and urine have been running openly through city streets due to the blockages in underground pipelines. Some 80 percent of Tegucigalpa's pipes are destroyed and 20 percent are blocked by earth, rubbish and sand, officials said. Repairing and rebuilding the system would cost $80 million, Puerto said, adding that although the government does not have the funds, the danger of epidemics makes the project urgent.