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Pastimes : SI Grammar and Spelling Lab -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: E who wrote (2884)	6/11/1999 1:51:00 PM
From: jbe	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 4711

She might possibly take offence, E, where none was intended... Joan

To: E who wrote (2884)	6/12/1999 11:03:00 PM
From: Grainne	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 4711

Gee, why I titled that thread "Let's Talk About Our Feelings" dredges up where I was emotionally almost three years ago, a painful and somewhat ironic subject in itself. I don't feel like going there right now, I will still give a pretty complicated answer, since the whole subject was pretty complex. SI at that time had been really popular for only a few months, really. There were wonderfully creative people there, but they were playing with words and feelings and humor a lot on the serious stock threads, which was driving the dead serious stock people nuts. I was one of the most prolific and obnoxious irrelevant posters, actually, and I wanted another place to play where I wouldn't bother anyone, and I could be what passes for creative in that loose and dwindling free association of the few remaining cells that struggle to function as my brain. And there were several people who fascinated me whom I wanted to get to know better, some as friends and intellectual sparring partners, and then there was one in particular . . . well, someone whose feelings I wanted to know a lot better. I am enormously compelled by men who are so secure that they can express feelings openly, and even cry. I find this very sexy. This curiosity eventually led me to a place where I found feelings so deep I hardly recovered from feeling them, so in a way all the irony is on me, but enough about that and me me me. You know, I'm from San Francisco, where almost everyone talks about their feelings, and had at least a little therapy at some point. I really do think it is a healthy way to live. But I am not talking about whining overdisclosure to perfect strangers, just a calm sense of knowing what is inside you and being able to express yourself in relationships, which makes the intimacy staggering and vibrant. I think that is a really great state of being. On the other hand, no one really is expected to reveal deep feelings at Feelings, because part of being loving, civilized and nurturing is making people feel good, not bad. That is why I am uncomfortable when there are big fights over there, unless I am involved, in which case I usually am totally unclear about what I am doing or why I am upset, and somehow have to thrash it out until I realize how stupid it all is. I think probably insecurity is the basis of most fights here, though. In reality we are all pretty flawed human beings, and the cyber nature of this communication leads to some of us behaving in ways we never would if we were having a face-to-face conversation. Being insecure exaggerates these slights, and all of a sudden there is a verbal explosion. Anyway, since you asked, I guess I would sum it up by saying that the title is some sort of reminder that feelings ARE important, but also very tongue in cheek at the same time. I think it's too bad that anyone wouldn't post there simply because of the title . . . could feelings make them uncomfortable? Maybe they should look at that, as we say out here on the Left Coast.