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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: JakeStraw who wrote (10516)6/29/1999 10:30:00 AM
From: Carol Putnam  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 62549
 
>> SIGNS THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER A KID:
>>
>> You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
>> You can live without sex, but not without glasses.
>> Your back goes out more than you do.
>> You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into
>> the room.
>> You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
>> You are proud of your lawn mower.
>> Your best friend is dating someone half his age...and isn't
>> breaking any laws.
>> Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
>> You sing along with the elevator music.
>> You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
>> You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
>> You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
>> You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
>> You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
>> People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
>> You have a dream about prunes.
>> You answer questions with "Because I said so!"
>> You send money to PBS.
>> The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your
>> belt.
>> You take a metal detector to the beach.
>> You wear black socks with sandals.
>> You know what the word equity means.
>> You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch
>> television.
>> Your ears are hairier than your head.
>> You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's
>> lawn.
>> You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
>> You got cable for the weather channel.
>> You can go bowling without drinking.
>> You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.



To: JakeStraw who wrote (10516)6/29/1999 2:41:00 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 62549
 
Husband's chatting shortened by cleaver

GRAFTON, Ohio, June 29 (UPI S) _ A northeast Ohio women became so
enraged at her husband's incessant chatting with other women on the
Internet she attacked his computer with a meat cleaver. Kelli Michetti
is free, but $200 poorer (Tuesday), after pleading no contest to
resisting arrest and domestic violence.