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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Feathered Propeller who wrote (10540)	6/30/1999 12:54:00 PM
From: Archangel	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

WARNING!!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED!!!! Two Pollacks (Ivan & Greg) are out having dinner, when one notices a huge fat man in the corner choking on his food….His friend following his gaze also sees the man choking, but nothing is said….They continue eating and talking all the while making nervous glances toward the choking fat man…. Some well wishers slap the man on the back and offer water to help but nothing seems to work…The man is now starting to turn a bluish purple… Finally it is obvious this man is going to die…Ivan stands abruptly and says to Greg “Is it your turn or mine?”….Greg says reluctantly “It's my turn”… With that Ivan jumps up onto his chair and then onto the table and proceeds to pull his pants and all, down to his ankles and bends over….The eyes of the choking fat man, now completely purple, roll and fix on what Ivan is doing…..Greg stands up grabs Ivan's cheeks, spreads them and buries his face in the anal cavity….The fat man's eyes bulge upon seeing this….Greg looks over to see the reaction and continues to lick the anal orfice…..The fat man's eyes bulge some more as the pressure builds in his body until finally an explosion of food and air spews forth clearing the blockage….As people tend to the now recovering man Ivan grabs his pants from his ankles and pulls them up as Greg wipes his face with a Napkin saying…… Are you ready????????  > > > > > > > > > > Are you Sure?????  > > > > > > > > “Augghhh…..Ivan…..The HINDLICK Maneuver saved another!!

To: Feathered Propeller who wrote (10540)	6/30/1999 9:12:00 PM
From: Feathered Propeller	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

From The Register: Unsure if this is the place to post this, but it seemed like a good read, (and maybe not a bad idea). Posted 29/06/99 6:45am by Drew Cullen Is it a bra, or an anti-mugging device? First the Armageddon Bra, a wearable computer that warned its owner of impending nuclear attack. Now we have the Techno Bra, designed for women too scared to walk the streets at night. Combining a heart monitor,GPS positioning, Chantilly lace trim and underwiring, the Techno Bra vibrates silently when its heart beat is raised. And -- get this -- the bra will send an alert to the police station , unless its occupant switches the damn thing off. This will go down a storm with Our Boys in Blue. It's a good thing the bra can tell the difference between exertion – caused by running for the bus – or trauma – such as missing the bus. Techno Bra designer Kursty Groves reckons it could even go into production. We guess that it would be more useful for women prone to heart attacks. We also guess that, unlike the Armageddon Bra, wearers can wear the Techno Bra under their clothes. The Techno Bra incorporates technology from Nokia and Proactiv, which has something to do with "sports electronics".