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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: The Philosopher who wrote (10564)	7/3/1999 3:00:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62549

They were mostly old, but I thought I had spotted a couple of additions.

To: The Philosopher who wrote (10564)	7/3/1999 3:57:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

A new twist on an old theme: One night a father overheard his son saying his prayers. “God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. God bless Grammy. Goodbye, Grampa.” Well, the father thought it was strange, but he soon forgot about it. The next day, the Grandfather died. About a month or two later, the father heard his son saying his prayers again. “God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. Goodbye, Grammy.” The next day the grandmother died. Well, the father was getting more that a little worried about the whole situation. Two weeks later, the father once again overheard his son's prayers. “God Bless Mommy. Goodbye Daddy.” This alone nearly gave the father a heart attack. He didn't say anything, but he got up early to go to work, so that he would miss the traffic. He stayed all through lunch and dinner. Finally after midnight he went home. He was still alive! When he got home, he apologized to,his wife. “I am sorry, Honey. I had a very bad day at work today.” “You think you've had a bad day?”, the wife yelled. “The mailman dropped dead on my doorstep this morning!”

To: The Philosopher who wrote (10564)	7/3/1999 10:21:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62549

The Italian and the Polish parachutists were arguing about who was best at folding a parachute. Unable to resolve their dispute on the ground, they decided to go up in the plane and judge by the mid-air performance of their chutes. The Polack jumped first, pulled the cord, and started floating toward the earth. The Italian jumped, pulled the cord - and nothing happened. He pulled the safety cord - nothing. In a matter of seconds he whizzed past the Pole, plummetting like a stone. "Ah HA!" shouted the Polack, yanking off his harness. "So ya wanna race!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? A: Men always miss them. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q: How is a pussy like a warm toilet seat? A: They both feel good, but you can't help wondering who was there before you. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Barely 20 minutes after teeing off, a woman came into the clubhouse, grimacing in pain. "What happened?" the club pro asked. "I got stung by a bee," she replied. "Where?" "Between the first and second holes." "Hmm," the pro murmured. "Sounds like your stance was a little too wide."