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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (10598)	7/8/1999 10:06:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Great Gate, Saint Peter was waiting for him. After reviewing his records Saint Pete decided to let him in. "Follow me" he said, opening the gate and walking in. After some walk, Saint Pete's keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. That was something the gay man just couldn't resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing. Saint Pete was furious. "If you do that again, You'll go straight to hell! But follow me, we're almost there." After some more walk, Pete dropped his keys again, and again, the gay man jumped on him. Saint Pete was even more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one last chance. Again they walk and for the third time Pete drops his keys, so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy, having no self control jumps on him. Pete is now fed up and sends the gay guy straight to hell. A few weeks later, Saint Pete goes down to hell for his routine inspection, but this time something is wrong, it is freezing, no fire, no lava and in one corner, he finds the devil lying under a stack of blankets freezing his ass of. "Why is it so god damn cold down here? "Pete asks. "Well you just try bending down for firewood!!" The devil replied. ----------------------------------------------------------------- A nun was walking in the convent when one of the priests noticed she was gaining a little weight. "Gaining a little weight are we sister Liana?" he asked. "No, Father. Just a little gas," Sister Liana explained. A month or so later the priest noticed that she had gained even more weight. "Gaining some weight are we Sister Liana?" he asked again. "Oh no, Father. Just a little gas," she replied again. A couple of months later the priest noticed Sister Liana pushing a baby carriage around the convent. He leaned over and looked in the carriage and said, "Cute little fart."