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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: jbe who wrote (44512)	7/8/1999 1:51:00 PM
From: Ilaine	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

I think men and women have to give up so much to make a marriage work, that it's natural not to want to be ripped off. And what constitutes giving one's fair share has changed over the generations. A few generations ago, if a woman didn't keep house, the man was being ripped off. Now women are expected to work outside the house, and if the wife refuses to, the husband feels ripped off. And the balance of power has shifted. Women are able to earn enough money to support themselves and even a few children, without a man, and they can tell a bad husband to take a hike. So if a man wants to get married and stay married, he has to treat women differently than in earlier generations.

To: jbe who wrote (44512)	7/8/1999 2:59:00 PM
From: The Philosopher	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

I absolutely accept no. 1. There is a spectrum and different people fall on different places. If you draw bell curves of men and women on a scale of violence, they will overlap, but the mens' bell curve will crest far more on the violent side that the womens, and there will be portions out on the ends which are exclusively male or female. On nature-nurture, again it's a spectrum or combination. I used to think nurture was predominant. Having had kids, I don't believe that any more. And having identical twins, I did a lot of research into twins and found that the studies of twins separated at birth (fascinating studies, by the way) showed a very strong predeliction for nature over nurture. Certainly we can affect our childen. That much is clear -- in general, kids who grow up families that read regularly themselves read more fluently and more frequently. Ask any elementary school teacher. But the more experience I have as a parent and divorce attorney (and criminal attorney for juveniles who get in trouble) the stronger I think the nature influence is.