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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Biggie Smalls who wrote (10648)	7/12/1999 7:45:00 AM
From: Carole Olkowski	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

> Actual Quotes from Yogi Berra > > "This is like deja vu all over again." > > "You can observe a lot just by watching." > > "He must have made that before he died." > -- Referring to a Steve McQueen movie. > > "I want to thank you for making this day necessary." > -- On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in 1947. > > "Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?" > > "You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, > because you might not get there." > > "I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early." > > "If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere > else." > > "If you can't imitate him, don't copy him." > > "You better cut the pizza in four pieces because > I'm not hungry enough to eat six." > > "Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical." > > "It was impossible to get a conversation going; > everybody was talking too much." > > "Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting." > > "A nickel isn't worth a dime today." > > "Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded." > > "It gets late early out there." -- Referring to > the bad sun conditions in left field at the stadium. > > "Glen Cove." -- Referring to Glenn Close > on a movie review television show. > > Once, Yogi's wife Carmen asked, "Yogi, you are from St. Louis, > we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. > If you go before I do, where would you like me to have > you buried?" Yogi replied, "Surprise me." > > "Do you mean now?" -- When asked for the time. > > "The wind always seems to blow against catchers > when they are running." > > "I take a two hour nap, from one o'clock to four." > > "If you come to a fork in the road, take it." > > "You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, > and if that isn't enough in the second half > you give what's left." > > "90% of the putts that are short don't go in." > > "I made a wrong mistake." > > "Texas has a lot of electrical votes." -- During an > election campaign, after George Bush stated > that Texas was important to the election. > > "Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." > -- After being told he looked cool. > > "I always thought that record would stand until it was broken." > > "Yeah, but we're making great time!" > -- In reply to "Hey Yogi, I think we're lost." > > "If the fans don't come out to the ball park, > you can't stop them." > > "Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel." > > "It's never happened in the World Series competition, > and it still hasn't." > > "How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't > know how to spell my name." -- Upon receiving a > check from Jack Buck made out to "bearer." > > "I'd say he's done more than that." > -- When asked if first baseman Don Mattingly > had exceeded expectations for the current season. > > "The other teams could make trouble for us if they win." > > "He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light." > -- On the acquisition of fleet Ricky Henderson. > > "I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just > blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. > After all, if I know it isn't my fault that > I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?" > > "It ain't the heat; it's the humility." > > "The towels were so thick there I could hardly > close my suitcase." > > "You should always go to other people's funerals; > otherwise, they won't come to yours." > > "I didn't really say everything I said."