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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Judy Muldawer who wrote (10710)	7/15/1999 1:31:00 PM
From: Calvin Scott	Respond to of 62578

A man and a women were married for 40 years. When they first got married the man said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked. However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer bottles and $1874.25 in small bills. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why. That evening they were out for a special dinner at their favorite restaurant. After dinner the woman could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying: "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked. However today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the bottles in the box?" The man thought for a while and said: "I guess after all these wonderful years you deserve to know the truth: "Whenever I was unfaithful to you I put an empty beer bottle in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again." The woman was shocked, but said: "I am very disappointed and saddened but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the years." They hugged and made their peace. A little while later the woman asked the man: "Why do you have all that money in the box?" To which the man answered: "Whenever the box filled with empties, I cashed them in."

To: Judy Muldawer who wrote (10710)	7/15/1999 1:32:00 PM
From: Calvin Scott	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62578

A man and a women were married for 40 years. When they first got married the man said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked. However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer bottles and $1874.25 in small bills. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why. That evening they were out for a special dinner at their favorite restaurant. After dinner the woman could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying: "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked. However today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the bottles in the box?" The man thought for a while and said: "I guess after all these wonderful years you deserve to know the truth: "Whenever I was unfaithful to you I put an empty beer bottle in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again." The woman was shocked, but said: "I am very disappointed and saddened but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the years." They hugged and made their peace. A little while later the woman asked the man: "Why do you have all that money in the box?" To which the man answered: "Whenever the box filled with empties, I cashed them in."

To: Judy Muldawer who wrote (10710)	7/15/1999 3:57:00 PM
From: Fast Eddie	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62578

A woman complained to her Doctor that her husband never wanted sex anymore.He gave her a bottle of Viagra pills, telling her to put them in her husband's drink and her husband would be recharged. The woman was filled with doubt, but she put one pill in his coffee that evening. That night they made love. The next night she put two viagra's in his coffee and that night the sex was ecstatic. The next night she said "What the hell!" and dumped the whole bottle in his coffee. Sometime later the Doctor called to check on his patient's progress. The woman's son answered the phone. When the Doctor asked how everyone was doing, the boy replied: "Mom's dead, Sis left home, the maid's pregnant, my ass hurts, and Dad is buck naked in the yard yelling, "Here, kitty, kitty." 1/2Fast Eddie