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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Carol Putnam who wrote (10917)	8/4/1999 3:42:00 PM
From: Tomato	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62569

Did you hear what JFK, Jr told his housekeeper before he left? > >>> > "You feed the dog, I'll feed the fish". > > What do OJ & JFK Jr have in common? > >>> > They both killed two white people. *************************************** > Ten Things That Would Be Different If The 12 Apostles Had Been Gay: > 10. The Last Supper would have been brunch. > 09. The Beatitudes would start, "Fabulous are they....." > 08. Jesus' triumphant entry into Jerusalem screams for a production > number > with lots of ostrich feather palm fronds and a large oyster shell, instead > of just a donkey. > 07. The water at the wedding feast of Canaan would not have been changed > to > wine, but to extra dry Bombay Sapphire martinis with a touch of Curacao for > color. > 06. The temple would not only have been cleansed of money changers, but > redecorated as well. > 05. Mary's hair would have been flawless. > 04. The Gospels would be Matthew, Mark, Lance and Bruce. > 03. Priests would have torrid affairs with altar boys......wait.Never > mind. > 02. Jesus would never wear white after Labor Day. > 01. The Sermon on the Mount would have been a musical. ******************* Father Standing Over His Baby In The Crib > > One night a wife found her husband standing over their newborn baby's > > crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the > > sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, > > doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. > > > > Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with > > eyes glistening she slipped her arms around her husband. > > > > "A penny for your thoughts," she whispered in his ear. > > > > "It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a > > crib like that for only $46.50!" ***********************