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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (10925)	8/5/1999 6:52:00 PM
From: Calvin Scott	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Little Johnny: A new teacher at Mrs. McDuffie's Academy for Higher Learning was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny? No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mom?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The math teacher saw that Little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (10925)	8/5/1999 7:21:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Respond to of 62549

One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married After the > wedding they left for their honeymoon. While driving down the road, the > new bride sees two cows having sex. The new bride asks, "What are they > doing honey?" The husband answers, "They're roping!" > She replies, "Oh, I see!" After a few more hours of driving they pass > two horses having sex. Again the bride asks, "What are they doing > honey?" The husband answers, "They're roping!" > She replies, "Oh, I see!" > Finally they arrive at their hotel. The couple washed up and started to > get ready for bed. When they got in the bed, they started to explore > each others body. The bride discovers her husbands penis. "What is > that?" she asks. "That's my rope," he answers. > She slides her hands down further and gasps, "What are those?" she > asks.. "They're my knots," he answers. > Finally the couple begins to make love. After several minutes the bride > says, "Stop honey, wait a minute! Her husband asks, "What's the matter > honey, am I hurting you?" > "No," the bride replies, "Undo those knots, I need more rope!"