Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Tomato who wrote (10953)	8/6/1999 10:27:00 PM
From: Jay	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

My uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went into the pot and was replaced. Now this took an awful lot of time. So when my uncle saw a set of eight tiny bells that each rang a different tone he promptly bought them. He glued a piece of foam rubber to each clapper shaft so the bell wouldn't ring except when violently shaken. He hung a bell on each rooster's neck and went and mixed a Mint Julep. Now he could sit on the porch and sip while filling out an efficiency report on the roosters by listening to the different tones of the bells and marking down each encounter. My uncle's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was and his bell did not ring all morning. Uncle went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing. Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Uncle was so proud of Brewster he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. They not only awarded him the No Bell prize but also the Pullet Surprise.

To: Tomato who wrote (10953)	8/8/1999 3:43:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62549

Guy: "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." Girl: "What am I, a microwave?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. An Irish cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?" "I've been to the pub," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few. "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Michael! Michael O'Shea! Why haven't I seen you in church for so long "Oh father I have sinned so terribly that I dare not show my face in church "What happened my son?" "Well, with us being so recently married an' all, I tend to think of the wife and the sin of the flesh more than I should and she will wear these short dresses and stockings and nothing else. A few weeks ago she dropped a tin of beans and when she bent over to pick it up I could not resist it I couldn't. I just had to take her then and there." "Well that's no so terrible my son. That's no reason to exclude yourself from the House of God." "That's very kind of you father, because they've banned us for life from the supermarket."