Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: The Philosopher who wrote (11021)	8/10/1999 11:41:00 PM
From: Mel Fox	Respond to of 62549

G-Rated ... and Phunni~! THROUGH THE EYES OF CHILDREN...... > > An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told > this story about her then four-year-old daughter. > On the way to preschool,the doctor had left her > stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl > picked it up and began playing with it. > Be still my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants > to follow in my footsteps! > Then the child spoke into the instrument: > "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?" > > ++++++++++++++++++++ > > Children on Religion..... > > A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, > Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue > over who would get the first pancake. > Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. > "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say > 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' > Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, > "Ryan, you be Jesus!" > > ++++++++++++++++++++++ > > A father was at the beach with his children when > the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, > and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. > "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. > "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. > The boy thought a moment and then said, > "Did God throw him back down?" > > +++++++++++++++++++++ > > After the church service a little boy told the > pastor, "When I grow up,I'm going to give you some money." > "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, > "but why?" > "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers > we've ever had." > > ++++++++++++++++++++ > > A wife invited some people to dinner. At the > table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter > and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" > "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. > "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. > The daughter bowed her head and said, > "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people > to dinner?" > > ++++++++++++++++++++ > > At Sunday School they were teaching how God created > everything, including human beings. > Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, > seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve > was created out of one of Adam's ribs. > Later in the week his mother noticed him lying as though > he were ill, and said. "Johnny what is the matter?" > Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. > I think I'm going to have a wife."

To: The Philosopher who wrote (11021)	8/10/1999 11:49:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

"Carjacking Granny" (A Supposedly True Story) An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon return, found four males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she knows how to use it and that she will if required: so get out of the car. The four men didn't wait around for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver's seat. Small problem: Her key wouldn't fit the ignition. Her car was identical and parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly white woman. No charges were filed.