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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Calvin Scott who wrote (11080)	8/17/1999 4:40:00 PM
From: Mark Peterson CPA	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62575

Calvin, ROFLMAO! Mark

To: Calvin Scott who wrote (11080)	8/17/1999 6:41:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62575

DIFFERENT DEFINITIONS Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. Tatyr: A lecherous Mr. Potato Head. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. Burglesque: A poorly planned break-in. (See: Watergate) Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer. Glibido: All talk and no action. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid & a butthole. ********************************************************************* KIDS' PROVERBS Better to be safe than....................punch a 5th grader. Strike while the.........................bug is close. It's always darkest before..............daylight savings time. Never underestimate the power of............termites. You can lead a horse to water but ...........how? Don't bite the hand that.......................looks dirty. No news is.........................impossible. A miss is as good as a........................Mr. You can't teach an old dog.....................math. If you lie down with dogs, you.......will stink in the morning. Love all, trust........................me. The pen is mightier than......................the pigs. An idle mind is......................the best way to relax. Where there is smoke, there's..............pollution. Happy is the bride who..................gets all the presents. A penny saved is.........................not much. Two is company, three's.....................The Musketeers. None are so blind as.....................Helen Keller. Children should be seen and not..........spanked or grounded. If at first you don't succeed............get new batteries. You get out of something what you.......see pictured on the box. When the blind lead the blind.................get out of the way. There is no fool like...........................Aunt Edie. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and......you have to blow your nose.