To: Stephen Goldfarb who wrote (4327 ) 8/21/1999 8:52:00 PM From: M.R. Davis Respond to
Review on Mr Showbiz.commrshowbiz.go.com Universal Soldier: The Return claim that Jean-Claude Van Damme "combines the athletic grace of Baryshnikov with the romantic charm of Jean-Paul Belmondo." Yeah and Carrot Top combines the agile sweep of Martha Graham with the puckish wit of Charlie Chaplin. OK, it's a stretch, but the heavily tanned, aging action hero still does have minor appeal in his latest knock 'em, sock 'em vehicle. The film itself is both a revamp of his 1992 box-office hit Universal Soldier and a standard rehash of his other kickboxing sagas, and even though it's derivative, it's not boring. Plus, the Muscles from Brussels flaunts his acting chops better here than in his last and worst flick, the rightfully titled Knock Off .Spawn 's Michael Jai White) who's got lots of devious plans in store, like destroying the world, but only after first kidnapping our hero's innocent pre-teen daughter (Karis Paris Bryant). Reluctantly teamed with Erin (Heidi Schanz) — a sassy TV reporter hellbent on getting her story — Deveraux has eight hours to destroy S.E.T.H., his computerized crony, Romeo (Bill Goldberg), and their fleet of hunky, homicidal Unisols. Sigh. So many men, so little time. Soldier is generically directed by Mic Rodgers, a former stunt coordinator who also served as a stunt double for Mel Gibson in the first three Lethal Weapon flicks. Too many of the action sequences, including the lackluster climactic battle between Luc and S.E.T.H., offer little payoff and they have a stock UPN Action Pak look to them. (Movies like this always make you wish they were helmed by someone who really choreographs action inventively, like John Woo or John McTiernan.) But the script by William Malone and John Fasano throws all the clichés into the mix and still manages to come up with engagingly silly sub-Moonlighting -style banter. (Erin: "What's your type? Happy homemaker? Female Special Forces? Wagnerian biker chick?")Universal Soldier: The Return 's enlightened '90s sensibility, fear not. Even though the movie features two tough heroines, Schanz and ESPN fitness guru Kiana Tom, there's also a gratuitous pitstop at a strip club where Luc does some computer hacking next to a iron-pumping transvestite and Erin fights off a lascivious lipstick lesbian. Luckily there are too many head-butts per frame to ponder the problematic sexual politics. If you're a hardcore fan, you're sure to hit the local multiplex quicker than you can say "Van Damme thank you, ma'am" anyway."
