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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (11190)	8/24/1999 7:09:00 AM
From: John Carragher	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62552

>An elderly Jewish couple were going out to dinner. >The woman comes out of the bedroom and says to her >husband, "Darling,do you want me to wear this Chanel >suit or this St. Johns?" > >"Do I care?" he replied. > >The woman comes out of the bedroom says to her husband, >"Darling, shall I wear my Cartier watch or my Rolex?" > >"Who gives a damn?" says the husband. > >The woman comes out of the bedroom and says to her husband, >"Darling, shall I wear my 5 carat pear or my 6 caret round >diamond?" > >To which her husband responds, "Hey, if you don't get your >act together, and soon, we are going to miss the early bird >special.

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (11190)	8/24/1999 9:28:00 AM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62552

Man, 112, Says Ditch Sex, Live Longer Tuesday August 24 8:21 AM ET dailynews.yahoo.com JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - South African Nicklaas Amsterdam Monday celebrated his 112th birthday, vowing that a life without sex had worked wonders for him. ''I have never had a woman to give me a headache,'' Amsterdam, who lives west of Johannesburg, told South African papers. ''That's how I got to live so long. I have never wanted a partner...and I honored my father and mother so God could spare my life,'' the Citizen newspaper quoted Amsterdam as saying at his birthday bash at a Methodist church.