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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Calvin Scott who wrote (11240)	8/26/1999 1:58:00 PM
From: faro	Respond to of 62558

Clinton at golf game Clinton was playing golf with 3 other friends. On the first hole when Clinton took off his jacket, the 3 friends were very intrigue by an woman slip hanging under Clinton's left arm. Too shy to ask what this was all about, they waited until the 19th hole. After a few scotch at the 19th, one of them finally risk the question to Mr. Clinton: Mr. President, my friends and I are very intrigue by the slip you've been holding under your left arm for the whole game. Can you tell us what it's all about? And Clinton to say: " Oh this, it's a patch --- I'm trying to stop...

To: Calvin Scott who wrote (11240)	8/27/1999 12:16:00 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

New Matter Discovery Investigators at a major research institution recently discovered the heaviest element known to science and have tentatively named it "Administratium". Administratium has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It has, however, 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons. It is also surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally have occurred in less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually INCREASE over time, since with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isotopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is spontaneously formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "Critical Morass." You will recognize it when it occurs.