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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: c.horn who wrote (11377)	9/4/1999 12:41:00 PM
From: Dr. Id	Respond to of 62558

An elderly couple was driving cross country, and the woman was driving. She gets pulled over by the Highway Patrol. The Officer said, "Ma'm, did you know you were speeding?" The woman turns to her husband and asks,"What did he say?" The old man yells "He says you were speeding." The Patrolman says "May I see your license?" The old lady turns to her husband and says "What did he say?" The old man says "He wants to see your license." The woman gives him her license. The Patrolman says,"I see you are from Alabama. I spent some time there once, had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had!" The old lady asked her husband "What did he say?" "He thinks he knows you," the old man yells.

To: c.horn who wrote (11377)	9/4/1999 12:45:00 PM
From: Dr. Id	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations." The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise." "I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations." "I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day." "Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?" "Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."

To: c.horn who wrote (11377)	9/4/1999 12:47:00 PM
From: Dr. Id	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

An old cowboy, dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. While he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. "Are you a real cowboy?" she asked. "Well," he replied, "I have spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences, and the lot, so I guess I am." After a short while he asked her what she was. She replied, "Well, I've never been on a ranch before so I'm definitely not a cowboy. Actually, I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think of women. When I eat, shower, and watch TV, I always seem to be thinking of women." The confused but intrigued cowboy ordered another drink. Some time later, a couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" "Well, to be honest," he said, "I always thought I was, but I just realized that I'm actually a lesbian."