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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Sarkie who wrote (11563)	9/16/1999 1:30:00 PM
From: John Carragher	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62578

Stevie Wonder and Jack Nicklaus are in a bar. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says, "How is the singing career going?" Stevie Wonder says, "Not too bad, the latest album has gone into the top 10, so all in all I think it is pretty good. By the way how is the golf going ?" //////////////////////////////////////// BLONDE SWIMMING > > > >The Breast Stroke > > > >There was a competition to cross the English Channel doing only the > >breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, > >and > >redhead, and a blonde. After approximately 14 hours, the brunette > >staggered > >up on the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker. About 40 > >minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the > >second place finisher. Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally > >came > >ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers. When > >the > >reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she > >replied, > >"I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those other two > >girls were using their arms!" Nicklaus replies: "Not too bad, I am not winning as much as I used to but I'm still making a bit of money. I had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right now." "I always find that when my swing goes wrong I need to stop playing for a while and think about it, then the next time I play it seems to be all right," says Stevie. "You play golf!?" asks Jack. Stevie says, "Yes, I have been playing for years." "But you are blind; how can you play golf if you are blind?" Jack asks. " I get my caddie to stand in the middle of the fairway and he calls to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him, then when I get to where the ball lands the caddie moves to the green, or further down the fairway, and again I play the ball towards his voice," explains Stevie. "But how do you putt?" Nicklaus wondered. "Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddie to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground, and I just play the ball to the sound of his voice." Nicklaus says, "What is your handicap?" "Well, I play off scratch," Stevie assures Jack. Nicklaus is incredulous and says to Stevie, "We must play a game sometime." Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play play for money, and I never play for less than $10,000 a hole." Nicklaus thinks it over and says, "OK, I'm up for that. When would you like to play?" "I don't care.... any night next week is OK with me."